Now, when I went back to Delhi, I started doing this mantra japa. Then one day, after coming back from Dubai, I started doing small havans (a type of fire ceremony) in my room and I started doing this mantra more seriously. One day during the afternoon I felt tired. I lay down on the bed, and with a particular awareness, I could see a God and Goddess on the roof of our flat with a book in front of them. The pages of this book were being turned over by the wind which was blowing. The whole atmosphere was charged with divinity.
Another day, I saw that through some astral process I had again come into Mahatma Hans Rajji’s room. Before going in, through the roof I saw a boy lying on the floor sleeping; and then the boy told Mahatma Hans Rajji that some ghost had come into his room. But he replied,
“Oh no, there is no ghost here. It is only one of my devotees, but in his spiritual body.”
So he took out a little piece of prasad, a piece of burfi (a type of Indian sweet) and dropped it. I took it and came back.
While coming here to the ashram through this astral process, near the room, I saw Lord Shiva on the sandy beach, and then I saw Mahatma Hans Rajji in the form of Lord Shiva. So I was quite surprised and it developed my devotion to him.
So I continued my japa and various things started happening. I had a lot of visions of Lord Shiva and many other things. Then one day, the entire process culminated, during the night. It must have been about one thirty in the morning because all the lights were off and I was sleeping in my room. Suddenly, I felt something moving my eyelids, while I was asleep. I wondered who could be trying to disturb my sleep, who wanted to open my eyes? So I opened them to see who was moving my eyelids, and I saw a whitish-bluish light, and it was focused on a particular photograph of a saint called Swami Shivananda (great saint who lived in Rishikesh up to 1963) which was in my room.
I remember that suddenly the light took the form of a bearded saint. And out came the face of Mahatma Hans Rajji. I was so surprised. This defied all the laws of physics! Moreover, I had studied physics as a student, and so I wondered how it was possible that such a light could be focused in such a way without any tungsten wire or without a bulb, or without any particular medium. And suddenly out of Mahatma Hans Rajji’s two eyes flashed a small whitish-blue light which entered my eyes. When it entered me, I closed my eyes suddenly, and when I opened them again, I saw that the light which had been focused on Swami Shivananda’s photograph had gone. Suddenly I felt a command, “Go and sit in the next room.”
So I obeyed and got out of bed and went to the next room. I sat there in padma asana (sitting on the floor, cross-legged) Suddenly I lost total consciousness of the outer physical world and of my body; my mind had stopped. I had an experience which lasted for about two and a half hours because at about four thirty the birds started singing and my consciousness became externalized.
This is how the experience usually goes. When the Guru’s grace dawns, the mind stops and the breath is stilled. Sunyatha (absolute stillness) occurs and then the Self Being - the swyambhu (the Self-Existent) flashes forth in all its divinity as existence, conscious awareness and bliss, bringing forth everything in divine love. That was my experience which I wrote down when it happened. (End)